TRACTOR'S TALES. exTRACT NUMBER TWO ... Budding matchday programme contributor Mr T. Driver, extolls the virtues of the Hunter lightweight folding chair and sets this week's competition teaser.

What a splendid day for the Derbyshire game a couple of weeks ago. Hot, sunny, and a Blackthorn close to hand; oh and some cricket which we won hands down! Some very fine knocks indeed, especially from Burns, who went ballistic, and KP who just went nuts. Backed up by some formidable bowling this win was just the start Somerset wanted in their one-day campaign.

After the Derby game, a very damp Chelmsford was the venue for the championship game against newly relegated Essex. Once again rain ruined the certainty of another Somerset victory, but at least we claimed full bonus points. The game started at 4pm Wednesday, no play at all Thursday, slight interruptions Friday with a majestic display of top quality batting from the experienced (not old) Bowler and another aggressive knock from captain Burns, plus a brave attempt to bowl Essex out twice on the Saturday, Dutchy claiming an impressive 5 for 65.

Somerset then travelled to Derby in their attempt to re-grab the Bath&Taunton trophy (okay C&G then) last Wednesday.

Then a trip to Scotland for the totesport league fixture last Friday, just the one game up there this year as opposed to the semi-successful C&G and NCL 'tour' last year.

Now they're back to a packed house in Taunton for today; in total a round trip of ... some miles!

Newly relegated Yorkshire (and fortunate 2002 C&G trophy winners) are our visitors today, the tough, gritty northerners who got up before they went to bed last night to lick the road clean as part of their 29 hour day! For today's totesport fixture they are a somewhat weakened force without Geoff Boycott (OBE), Fred Trueman (OBE), Harold 'Dickie' Bird (MBE), and Michael Parkinson (ITV).

Last week's lucky predictions were spot on; Burns (no.3) top scored with 97, Somerset won (maroon pyjamas), and I'm sure the wool selection was rated with our knitters - I purposely didn't go for the mid-grey for fear of dropping a Clanger!

Today, I'm going with Lucky Number 6, lucky colour maroon, and lucky chair, the 'Hunter Lightweight folding chair with cup holder' - it leaves the others standing!

This week's competition, another one from the soon-to-be-released 'Mastermind - Tractor edition' is 'Why is Marcus Trescothick known as Banger?'

Again, write your answers on a paper napkin, freely available from The Hungry End with any pasty purchase, fold it over and mark it "The 'Marcus Loves Sausages' competition" and pop it in the nearest litter bin. Once again Bert the seagull will pick the winner from the council tip although there may be a day's delay because I haven't checked the Gazette for dustbin day following last week's Bank Holiday. Another paper napkin is the fabulous prize on offer (prize cannot be exchanged for cash).

Last week's answer was of course 'Ian Blackwell scored a blisteringly fast ton for Somerset in that last game against Sussex'. Only 2 entries had the correct spelling of blisteringly, and Bert the seagull's final decision was that a Mr T Driver was the winner, so well done to him (no seagull was harmed in the judging of this competition).

There were differing reactions to this piece in the previous edition. Some said they didn't approve, so they are now Ex-Tractor fans, while others could see my angle on things, so they're still Pro-Tractor.

Now once again, sit down, sup and munch away to the lovely sounds of the twittering birds, the ripple of applause, leather on willow, all complimented by the occasional ...

COME ON SOMERSET!!!